Bruised Ego

I don't have thick skin
I do my best to hid it
I don't fit in and never have
But I do have friends
I do speak sarcasm
But honestly I don't get it
Half of the time, taking
Others to literally or personally
This is just me and who I am
There are things about me
That I can't explain
Because I change day to day
I'm not cool, my jokes are lame
But I still find a way to make
Others laugh and feel okay
Most of the time
Like the tide my life
Seems to follow certain patterns
Yet nothing is quite the same
From day to day
Friends disappear while others stay
Habits come and go
While repeated mistakes
Cause me bits of strife
Somehow I've learned to not let
The past haunt me or to regret
Anything that has come to pass
Shadows do linger in crass comments
Of bitterness that tries to grow
Like weeds in a garden to be mowed over
I'm easily confused, surprised and amused
But not so easily shocked
Even though it can be frustrating
I like getting lost
I love wild rides and quiet walks
A good story I can get lost in
I do tend to lose sight of things
And the big picture alludes me
I think the best of people
Till I no longer can and even then
I still hold out hope for them
No matter how used I've been
Still at some point I know
I've got to walk away
My mind has been known to stray
My feet to find their own way
Following a path not even I can see
I don't have thick skin
Sometimes I don't even
Bother to hide it
Wearing my heart on my sleeve
I'll let you in if I can
But I really can't promise anything

A friend asked "How's Life?"

Life is good
While it's a tangle
Of Aspirations & Inspirations
Detour signs & Road blocks
As frustrating & maddening
As they can be, I like puzzles
So throw at me whatever
You've got & what I can't catch
I'll put the pieces together
Again into a mosaic
Someone somewhere will appreciate
As a work of art
That's how I see my life
When I don't have an umbrella
I'll take the opportunity
To dance in the rain
Till I'm soaked through
And starting to feel a bit miserable
I'll find some sort of shelter
Till the sun comes out again
I'll stop to gander at the rainbows
Till I must wander onward
Into the daylight and through
The dark and wild nights
That's how I see my life
And it's really quite alright
;)

Mini Rant / Random Tui Thoughts of the Week

I had a realization last night in conversation... I haven't worked on writing my stories in a while because it's work. I write poems still pretty often, but those - while sometimes tricky to get the rhythm and wording down- are partly stream of consciousness & mostly just pour out of me. They are not work. I really do want to get more stories written & now realize I have to treat it more like a job. 
So I now that have a "Day Job" I don't have to worry about bills. I can finally tell people where I work, instead that I don't, but try not to act embarrassed that it's back in retail. Yet it's still not answer to "What I Do". Because that answer includes stuff like work at a job & that I write, take lots of photos, do crafts, travel, hang with & help friends & family, go to shows, study anthropology, train in archery, & watch movies... 
It's not a career, but it is my life. 
& I realize it's time to get serious about "Moonlighting" & WORK at making some of my hobbies & dreams more than just that. 
So yeah... ;) 
How's your Saturday? LOL