Change is on the horizon... I'm reacting as I know how ~ a mix of internalize, talk & write...

So, it's back to the drawing board again, soon anyway. Well sort of, it's not like I'm starting w/ a fresh page... in some ways that might be nice ~ a fresh start.
The fact is that I have a foundation of friends, a little network of connections and large pool of experiences to draw from. This may indeed be a blessing in disguise.
Oh ~ I realize that it's not likely that, unless you are part of an exceptionally small circle of people, you have any clue of what I'm talking about. I do that sometimes... start in the middle of a story and then back up.
I am essentially getting demoted at work. My hours are getting cut dramatically, however, my workload is only being cut by a sliver. It's just economics, I was told. I took an economics course a long time ago, I don't remember this part, but it was just a general overview of a class. I do understand their reasons, to a point, but it is still a kick in the gut.

The fact is that I couldn't see myself doing this job forever, certainly I had for longer than this, but Office Management is not really an ideal goal for someone who wants to have variety & creativity in their career. Not that there wouldn't be variety of a sort, if -you- the audience is feeling nit-picky, but not a much in the long run.

I got a damn good compliment yesterday amongst the maelstrom of change and wicked bad feelings- that a friend of mine has no doubt in my abilities to survive and get through this or anything. That I didn't deserve what is happening & I'm a pretty hard person to not like.
Yes, if you were wondering, I do listen. My hearing isn't fantastic, my memory randomly sucks balls & my mind is often running in 10 different directions, so not everything filters through. But I do try to listen.
I'm not good at giving 100 % to any one thing, it's true, I'll admit it. It's just how I am, just part of who I am.

Fact is that I've gotten less shy & more confident, my clothing style has changed with what's available & what I can afford at the time, my attitude & vocabulary have changed with my knowledge... but I am still the same weirdo that I've always been. I haven't changed that much. I'm good with that. I know I'll get through this and figure something better out.