Monday, April 29, 2013

Dark Thoughts On A Gloomy Night

(written a little while back)

I don't want to think anymore
I want these moments to pass
To be done and gone
It's all happened before
I don't seem to be changing
Anything for the better
Am I improving anything
Or just doing the same damn things
Over and over again
Falling for the sames guy
Believing every little lie
Letting them make me cry
Stopping before I try
Then trying too hard for my
Own good
No one wants what I have
Yet they take and take and take
Then act like I'm the one
That is being selfish when I take
Any little thing
I don't have any big plans
No dreams drawn from the stars
Haven't written up any pragmatic goals
Yet you accuse me of scheming
Of trying to hook you in
As if I'd know what to do with you
If I had you
I'm really not the fool
I apparently seem to be
I am who I am and I'm tired of trying
To explain that to you
I'm too exhausted from this cycle
I'm not sure I have any more to give
But I know taking is not the answer
I want to run away somewhere far
From here where no one is relying
On me or pretending to care
Find a maelstrom to get lost in
An adventure to find myself in
Something I can believe in
Because right now all I see is lies
Like maggots and flies
Swimming in soup and champagne
Games played by cruel people
That happily pull at our strings
Good intentions and miscommunications
Driving canyons in between relations
I'm starting to want to be blind
To close my eyes to it all
I'm having to search so hard for kind
Thoughts and comments
I don't want to fall
Nor do I think I can trust in
You to catch me, seems too tall
An order to rely on anyone
But I know somewhere within me
That these are just dark thoughts
Creeping in at a dark hour to blot
Out all the light and all I have fought
For in the days that have past
And they have no power that can last
Over me for very long


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