Guitar Practice

I'm working at playing the guitar again
A decade had passed & the past is stained
With regrets and missed opportunities
But I've got to believe it's getting me to
Where I need to be
I'm starting at the beginning again
Learning the chords and strumming
The simple things that are still a pain
To remember and do right without having
To look at my hands or over thinking
Each move and motion while I find the rhythm
I don't have calluses yet so the strings
Cut into my fingers in no time
I have to remember to practice
To do it often enough that it'll sink in
To be patient and take my time
Taking it step by step
Not trying to rush it just because
I let a decade pass
While I let another dream
Gather dust and come apart at the seams
Those worries must be in the past
While I take action to build my dreams
Back up and forget about old regrets
I'm not playing any songs yet
Just slowly strumming out chords
Learning to shift from one to another
Like learning to trust a lover
After having been scorned
So many times before

Just Look Away

These moments they scare me
More than anything anywhere
When it all seems to fit together
Because that's when I think
It'll all going to fall apart again
Oh please my dear don't stare
I've got my imperfections and my faults
Though know I may be perfect to your eyes
I'm still not sure I can stand it when
If you stare at me again
I want you to stay with me
I think I know you can't
I think I always knew you couldn't
So please don't stare at me
Like you want to say you love me
Please don't look at me with that longing
Close your eyes and look away
If you must my dear
It's the words I fear
Don't say you love me
Don't say you love me
Unless you mean it
Don't say you love me
If you won't at least try to stay
I want to you to be here with me
More than anything
But only if you want to be
I think I know you can't
I think I always knew you couldn't
So please just look away
My love
Please just look away
If you can't be straight with me

Green as the Sea

I can't sleep in this night
It could only be right
If only you were right
Here beside me tonight
I close my eyes and I try
To see you but sadly
You are fading to my eyelids
I know your eyes are green
That's all I can really see now
That's all I can really see now
The color of the sea
When I was down in Hawaii
A bit before we ever met
That's all I can really see now
That's all I can really see now
The color of the sea
Those days I saw turtles
Swim by me
Those days that I felt free
I reach out my hand sometimes
For anyone to save me
Anyone that will reach for me
But the truth is I want it to be you
With your green eyes the color of the sea
That's all I can really see now
That's all I can really see now
The color of your eyes

A lady to her knight..

The truth is you are on my mind
Each and every day
I'm just not sure what to write
What I want to say
What would bridge the distance
While you are so far away
Do I ask questions about your likes
Your family and your dreams
In return give you answers about me
Would you want to read
Messages filled with me babbling
About how I pass my days
Here on the mainland

Should I wax poetic
As I am doing so this moment
Or keep it short and simple but sweet

All the while as I write this
I wonder how things are with you
If you face rough seas
Or if your days are paced
With calm & steady waves
I have not known you long at all
Yet find my self willing to promise
Not to stray
To wait for the day you return
When I may see your face again
Sadly I can't help also wondering
Why it took so long to hear from you
Days and months passed with out word
But I am reassured by your promise
To return to me
From the dust and water
So far away
To stay with me a while
Till the day my knight errant
Is again sent on another quest

Road Trip

I've been away for a while
I took a trip in my car
I drove on my own
But friends were never far
I never really felt alone
Though I traveled to places
That were unknown to me
Saw beautiful sights & faces
Was reminded of sadness
and Greeted with smiles
Moments that will always
Be with me till the end of my days
I could not stay
In any one place for much time
Had to move along the road
Keep following the lines on the map
To see what else I might find
I don't know what I was looking for
I don't think that I found it
What I did find though was much more
No great answers to old questions
No compass to give me directions
Instead I had fantastic experiences
and Wonderful conversations
When I came home alone
I was still me
Still scared and excited about tomorrow
Still feeling quite lost and unsure
About my place in a quotidian world
But I'd had an incredible journey

Little Sandra Dee, that's not really me...

Tired of being thought of as Sandra Dee
Easily ignored, used and walked over
So easy to read
Little Sandra Dee with nothing new to say
So easy to tease
Stumbling over my words & feet
So easy to leave
Not worth keeping around
Such a prude better watch what you say
As if I haven't heard it all before
Well most of it anyway
Little Sandra Dee goody two shoes
Best keep your stockings straight
Round me and stick to the rules
Do I seem that serious
Do I come across as such a fool
So I don't smoke or toke on a tool
Yes, I did alright in school
Oh my god I even get along
With my parents still
No I'm not just another a fake
Under tons of make up
Does that mean you know me
I've just about had my fill
Of you saying that I'm sweet
Little Sandra Dee just another dummy
Ready to get on my knees
Believe what others say so easily
Follow their lead
Only to be kicked aside
Maybe I don't swear like a sailor
Doesn't mean I can't hold my own
Maybe I don't wear lace and leather
I can stand tall and turn heads
Probably drink you under the table
And show you a few things in bed
Though I prefer things simple and comfortable
Doesn't mean I don't seek adventure
Little Sandra Dee I come across to you
In the end I say believe whatever
The hell you want to my dear
Doesn't really matter to me

Choices and change...

I don't know what I'm trying to say

I woke up the other day

I wasn't alone and it felt right

Then it all changed again

Nothing can stay

I know it's true

Everything must rearrange 

Every so often and be made new

I could hold my breath

Till I'm blue in the face

But it wouldn't have made him 

Do anything any differently

We went our separate ways

The way it should be

Both supported by family

Our choices we make as we go

Even when they are not our own

We always have a choice 

They say but sometimes making

The right one will feel wrong

I wish I felt strong

That I was doing all I could do

I know I'm not though

I know there is more I could be

Doing for me

I have to forget about you now

I have to do whatever I can

To just go to bed and get up again

The next morning and be okay

It sounds foolish and so easy

You've fought battles far away

I probably sound crazy

That most of my battle is 

Right here in my head

But I know I'm not crazy

Scared and lonely maybe

Perhaps even rather lazy

I'm fighting to find my purpose

While you fight for my rights

I'm glad we had that one night

Though I hope to see you again

Sometime soon my friend

Till then I've got to live on

But I'll always keep my dance 

Card open for you to step in

When you get a chance